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Length: short
Topic: how to structure your daily activities around sleep (manage and plan for sleep all day)
Executive summary: Sleping is the holy grail, the fountain of youth. Sitting is to sleeping what the anti-Christ is to God; what sugar is to salmon.
People claim to know and understand how important sleeping is, but they do next to nothing more than pay lip service to the fact. This article tells you how you should start planning for next night's sleep as soon as you get up (even before, really; no alarm)
Sleep is incredibly important
Sleeping too little affects your intelligence, concentration, memory, ability to learn and make decisions
So what?
Sleeping reduces the positive effects of working out (makes you less muscular, e.g.)
So what?
Sleeping too little increases the risk of diabetes, alzheimer's, stroke, cardiovascular disease, cancer, depression etc.
So what?
Sleeping too little hampers your will power and makes you hungrier, and more susceptible to hedonistic temptations (sugar, coffee, alcohol, TV, snacks). In short, you risk getting unhealthy and fat which make you sleep even worse.
So what?
Sleeping too little has adverse effects on your immune system
So what?
All of the above make it difficult to sleep, thus creating a vicious cycle, making you an increasingly fat, lazy, depressed and stupid, not to mention tired, version of yourself
So what?
You risk getting a cold if you sleep too little
Oh! My! God! Tell me what I should do.
Sleep enough
-start with the average need of 8 hours a night, wake up without an alarm and pay attention to how you feel. Then adjust from there.
Yes, yes, OK, but how?
Manage your sleep all day long
-This is where it gets really interesting
Take care of your sleep throughout the day:
- Eat right for your microbiome
- Your bacteria controls much of your behavior, immune system, sleep and hunger hormones etc., and your food governs the microbiome diversity
- Eat a varied and fiber rich diet of beans, leafy greens, fatty fish, nuts, fruits
- Manage your caffeine and alcohol intake
- Avoid caffeine much later than mid-day
- Don't drink coffee too early in the morning
- use coffee for focus, not to force yourself awake when suffering from sleep deficit
- Alcohol ruins the quality of your sleep; don't regularly drink alcohol close to bed time
- Expose yourself to sunlight, as much as possible during the day
- The circadian (=approximately a day) rhythm needs sunlight to function properly
- it's also associated with early day DNA repair and the body's daily battle against cancer
- Take walking meetings outside if possible
- Eat outside
- The circadian (=approximately a day) rhythm needs sunlight to function properly
- Avoid sitting
- Sitting is to sleeping what the anti-Christ is to God; what sugar is to salmon
- cardiovascular disease, neurological diseases, cognition, depression, etc. What sitting causes, sleep remedies
- Lift weights, run and do mobility exercises
- Poor circulation, weak muscles, poor posture negatively affect your sleep, and can even cause Willis-Ekbom's disease (restless legs - here is how to fix that by the way)
- Inactivity makes you apathetic but not sleepy
- Sleep enough
- Plan your day around sleep not the other way around; make room in your schedule for sleeping enough.
- ...but refrain from taking too long naps during the day, if it affects your ability to sleep at night
- To really drive the point home, sleeping too little makes you mismanage points 1 to 5
- eating more sugar and bad fats; sleeping too little catalyzes "the munchies" through the same pathways as the use of cannabis
- drinking more coffee and alcohol
- staying inside (tired and apathetic and thus less prone to walk outside, less effective and consequently staying by the computer)
- sitting more
- skipping gym
Here you'll find an earlier post by me about sleep: 18 points to make you sleep better
And, if you're Swedish, check out Styrkelabbet's excellent podcast episode about sleep.
Summary
Start with your sleep requirements.
Then plan everything else around that, such as where to live (commute), what to eat and drink, work and meeting habits, screen time, choice of furniture, outdoor exercise routines.
Don't turn sleep on its head, making it a mere residual of work, play and gluttony
- sleeping
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Executive summary: How a few strategic keystone habits almost effortlessly can change your life for the better
Case in point, n=1: How I am the best version of me, approaching 50 years (kind of), thanks to regular dog walks and gym sessions
What you should do? Establish just one (low threshold) keystone habit that has the potential to shape and improve your days or weeks with regards to, e.g., investing, research or exercise
How is father time treating you?
Hi,
How are you?
Investments are lagging?
Tired, a little sore, hungover perhaps?
Got a few pounds and inches extra round the waist?
Getting winded walking up stairs? Back's aching every now and then?
Got a cold? Again? And you had one last year as well?!
"It's just part of turning 25/30/35/40/45", you say?
Age is no excuse
I'll turn 45 in a few months (January 2017)
Today (Monday, September 12) I executed my best bench pressing session ever*. In my previous workout session, three days ago (Friday) I had my best deadlifting session ever*.
*the absolute weights don't matter, but if you just have to know; I benched 4 sets of 4 reps, with a short stop at the chest, at 120kg (265 lbs), and the 4*4 deadlifts were performed at 165kg (364 lbs).
In between I did some light partying on Friday and Saturday. The weekend before that, however, I set some kind of a new weekend party record.
In a recent interview (Börspodden, to be released Wednesday September 14, 2016, I think) I was reminded of how I in Tokyo this spring memorized a 14-character random WiFi password from a single reading (without even trying... However, I can't claim to be able repeat the feat reliably).
On top of all this, I am more mindful, focused, kinder, more flexible, healthier*, and exhibit better aerobic capabilities than ever. And, I look like this (September 10, 2016 - NB that my focus is on being healthy not looking healthy)
*I haven't caught a cold in a decade
I am the least humble I have ever been too. Progress on all fronts...
The key to a 300+ lbs bench press at 45, when my PB in my 20s and 30s was 20% lower is keystone habits. The same habits explain my improved posture, general health, psychological resiliency, my party recovery rate, my improved cognitive abilities, mental strength, and on and on.
In short, a few keystone habits introduced in my 40s have caused me to experience a Benjamin Button style backwards life trajectory.
Let's take a look at those habits.
Keystone habits
Dog walks
I have a dog, a German Shepherd-Doberman mix that I take for at least 3 walks a day; morning (8 am), afternoon (3 pm) and night (9 pm). No matter how I feel, what the weather is like, or what plans I have, I get to go out 3 times a day, walk a few miles, interact with nature, my dog, other dogs, other people.
The dog walks create a framework for my days, a weekly matrix that's very suitable for other bolt-on habits. For example, I usually listen to educational and informative podcasts during my walks. In addition, I limit my drinking, or at least have a reason to, in order to fit the dog walks into my schedule.
Note: the keystone habit of dog walks also means I get a lot of brain exercise (science podcasts), as well as drink less alcohol.
Weight lifting
I lift weights at a gym every second day. In between dog walks and eating there really isn't much time. That means walks and gym sessions combine to push me to be more effective, or I wouldn't get anything done (blogging, podcasting, writing, etc.).
Partying
It's no fun at all squatting hungover, which means my weight lifting routine sets a limit to the amount of partying and drinking alcohol I can do. That in turn makes it easier to keep a steady sleeping schedule.
I typically initiate my pre-sleep routine around 11 pm, including turning off my phone, washing my face and reading, and then turn off the lights at or slightly before midnight.
Reading and sleeping
-Add reading every day, and keeping a regular sleep schedule to my keystone routines (or possibly second order add-on habits)
Cognition
Some of the research on blogs I read and podcasts I listen to (including The Brain Science Podcast with Dr Ginger Campbell) has inspired me to practice a kind of micro meditation/mindfulness (mmm) during my walks. That has further improved my general feeling of well-being. The mmm habit is a bolt-on that might never have happened without the dog walks. Recently I have started trying longer meditation sessions as yet an extension stemming from the keystone habit of dog walks.
Mobility
Since I've started doing mobility exercises during my walks, I've come to spend more time on them than my typical 2 minutes during the Game Of Thrones Intro once a week.
HIIT
The heavier I lift at the gym, the more crucial the warm-up becomes. Before doing exercise specific warm up sets at spend 10-15 minutes performing High Intensity Interval Training, which has pushed me to my best aerobic shape ever - without even trying.
Superfoods
Do you hate that concept too?
I know! Me too.
Anyway, every day I have a spoonful of natural fish oil* mixed with a specific antioxidant-rich olive oil.
I would say that habit is just as important as walking, sleeping and working out. However, it is a secondary habit I picked up in my mid-30s, in order to accommodate my taxing work and workout regimes. No matter, it demonstrates the synergistic potential of keystone habits.
Food
I used to live on junk food (McDonald's 2-3 times a day in 1994-1995).
With time, however, all the working out, working long hours, walking etc. slowly made me eat better and better; more beans, more fibers, more leafy greens and cruciferous vegetables (picture), less meat, more fish and fish oil*, whole fruits and berries, no juice, more spices like ginger, cinnamon, black pepper, turmeric...
The keystone habits made it a necessity as well as a delight - in between gym and a dog walk what I want and need is a quick power drink with more or less all the above included.
*ArcticMed, if you are interested. Filtered from Phtalates, mixed with a rare anti-oxidant rich (in particular oleocanthal) olive oil, and Friends Of The Sea certified. Btw, a very recent study (summer 2016) on mice is showing exactly how w-3 is reducing inflammation in a cell.
Reinforce or establish your own keystone habits
Which are your current or potential keystone habits? A day job could work, but it's not necessarily healthy and it could also wear you out and prevent you from adding truly good habits.
You could try subscribing to a food delivery service to eat better which should make exercising easier and possibly lead to better sleep and more energy in a virtuous cycle.
You could try adding an exercise routine, e.g., walking a few extra blocks every day before going home and then "reward" yourself with a healthy power drink.
Signing up for a group sports activity 3 times a week is probably one of the best things you could do to create a framework nudging you toward eating better, sleeping better, drinking less, reading more. If you can stick to it. However, going from zero to three right away probably just won't work.
My preferred way of introducing a keystone habit, or any habit for that matter, is to set the bar extremely low:
If you want to start exercising, running, studying, programming or whatever it might be, set aside just one minute per session. Gradually increase the number and length of sessions, slowly and in very small increments but steadily, until you've reached the desired volume.
Investments
Think about what keystone habits could improve your investment routines. What could make you more informed, more disciplined, sticking to your best practice lists? What could make you focus less on empty tips, on social media chatter, on laid back reading instead of actual research?
Implement those. Just one is enough.
The power of keystone habits redux
- how Ronja and weight lifting turned me into Benjamin Button
Pumping iron and walking Ronja created a framework as well as a need for better nutrition, better sleep, and being more effective.
One thing have led to another, and nudge by nudge I have come to spend my dog walks listening to science news and doing mobility exercises, and my days reading and writing, interspersed by power drinks with whey protein, spinach, kale, cinnamon, turmeric, black pepper, berries, or other healthy meals.
Smarter and more productive by blogging
The framework and constraints (albeit artificial) have made me disciplined and effective, despite my natural inclination toward laziness. That includes not the least my creative endeavors of this blog and my podcast (in Swedish: 25 minuter), which force me to stay up to date and productive during my retirement.
Another way of putting it is that my workouts are better now, since I know and understand more; that my partying doesn't hurt as much, since I am in better shape, eat better, sleep better and I am more mentally resilient. No matter, it all boils down to the healthy regularity introduced by my dog walking and gym going routines.
Summary
- Establish a keystone habit - just one, or reinforce an existing one.
- It could be daily pod walks, a "stop sitting" alarm, walking meetings, reading certain newsletters at set days and times every week, exercising every second day, every day, go outside for 10 minutes of mobility work before dinner every day, or something similar.
- Remember to make it easy (wu wei); the lower the threshold the better. Once the habit is set you can increase its intensity.
- With time, let other healthy, useful, productive habits bolt on to your main habit.
- Perhaps add another keystone habit
- Enjoy a carefree and healthy lifestyle without even making an effort
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Summary: the only weight lifting schedule you need; the simplest and most straight forward workout routine you'll ever come across
Length: 1 200 words
- Day 1: Deadlift 5x5, Bench press 5x5, Pull-up 5 sets
- rest
- Day 2: Bench press 5x5, Squat 5x5, Pendlay row 5x5
- rest
- Day 3: Squat 5x5, Deadlift 5x5, Press 5x5
And remember to mobilize your hips, back and shoulders every now and then to stay healthy and young.
-That's it. Move on. But first share this article with a friend who can't bench press, squat or deadlift his own bodyweight.
What about nutrition?
Food? My advice is to eat food, real food. Eat a lot but not too much. If you focus on fish, beans, eggs, leafy greens, whole fruits and stuff like broccoli and cabbage first you can probably eat just as much as you like. And after that you'll be too full to eat too much french fries, bread, cereals and pasta.
Working out 101
It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be easy. If it's complicated, you're doing it wrong. If you absolutely crave complexity, you can add that after mastering the basics (and performing them consistently).
Make no mistake, sometimes you won't feel like going to the gym, but the choice of exercises should still be simple. The simpler and fewer they are, the less daunting it will feel actually getting to the gym.
Level 1 - Go to the gym
If it's gym day, just go. Go even if you don't feel like it. Don't procrastinate and hope for some motivation, just make sure you get there. Convince yourself you'll only change and walk slowly on the treadmill for a few minutes. If you're lucky, walking slowly soon turns into a faster pace, then a light jog, and so on...
Level 2 - Lift weight bars until you feel tired
Lift reasonably heavy weights a few times (that's a "set"). Do a few sets in one exercise then change to another exercise. Do a few exercises until you feel tired. Do it again a few times a week.
It actually is that simple: a few reps, a few sets, a few exercises, a few times a week until you feel tired. Keep doing that week after week and you'll become reasonably fit. There's no need for esoteric exercises or any other equipment than a standard bar and some weights.
Level 3 - 5x5x5; Focus on these five-ish exercises, doing five sets of five reps each at least once every week
- Deadlift
- Squat
- Pull-up/Chin-up
- Pendlay row
- Press/Bench press
Simply make sure you do them all at least once a week, using weights you can manage with good and safe form for about 5 reps per set, 5 sets per exercise. "5x5" refers to your work sets, i.e., the day's heaviest weight (warm-up sets don't count).
NO, you don't need to train your forearms, wrists, abs, shoulders, pecs, calves, ass, triceps, biceps etc. with specific exercises; especially not any involving machines. You can, of course, if you've got the time and energy after focusing on the real lifts.
Level 4 - an actual weekly workout schedule
- Day 1: Deadlift 5x5, Bench press 5x5, Pull-up 5sets
- rest
- Day 2: Bench press 5x5, Squat 5x5, Pendlay row 5x5
- rest
- Day 3: Squat 5x5, Deadlift 5x5, Press 5x5
Add in some aerobic warm-up, biceps curls, prone bridges and crunches (abs) as you see fit. Quite naturally, you'll be able to focus more and lift heavier weights on the day's first exercise than the second and third. Plan for that, since that's the reality anyway.
Level 5 - getting jiggy with it
There is nothing magical about 5x5x5, or working out 3 times a week. I don't use the 5x5 principle, at least not all the time. This summer, e.g., I'm getting a little crazy, doing 4x4 in most heavy exercises. And I'm working out every second day, meaning I go to the gym 7 times in two weeks, instead of 3 times a week.
I think 3-4 times a week is optimal, for anybody just looking to get reasonably strong and fit, but 2 could probably do the trick as well, and 5 wouldn't be a complete waste of time.
In addition to lifting weights, I'm doing HIIT (intervals) or fast running on a treadmill for 12 minutes right before every workout, thus accumulating at least 10-12 km of quick running every week. I also add some kind of specific biceps work (seated or standing biceps curls on 2/3 of my sessions, in sets of 5-10 reps each), as well as 25-50 crunches of some kind after every session.
Every now and then I do a heavy pyramid in the bench press or deadlift, instead of a lighter 4x4. And sometimes I do a high rep set, like this 110kg x11 bench press (243 lbs incl. safety springs) or this 140kg x20 deadlift (touch and go).
Most of my work, however, is done in the 4x4 or 5x5, sets x reps, range. That's where I seem to gain strength most effectively. The variation is mostly for fun and motivation, but I also think it stimulates the muscles in a way that might help build volume or strength long term. No, I'm not going to refer a ton of research on the matter. Google it!
Level 6 - mobility (for health, not Van Damme style showing off; though I'm looking forward to "Kickboxer 2016")
Don't overdo it. Don't waste time on doing the splits (unless your sport or profession calls for it). Make sure you actually do the ones you're supposed to do instead.
Focus on a few exercises for improved posture and long term health. I've written about mobility here before, but as a quick recap:
- Hips - squat, couch, pigeon
- Upper back - cobras (seals), tube roller
- Shoulders - morpheus
- Lower back - hernia prevention 3D jiggling
Novice level: Spend a few minutes a week on each, e.g., in the TV couch, bundled with your favorite show
Pro level: Spend a few minutes at every weight lifting session
Food? My advice is to eat food, real food. Eat a lot but not too much.
:D
If you focus on fish, beans, eggs, leafy greens, whole fruits, and stuff like broccoli and cabbage first, you can probably eat just as much as you like. And after that you'll be too full to eat too much french fries, bread, cereals and pasta. Avoid all heavily processed food and food rich in sugar, like ketchup, mustard, candy, cereals, juice, soda etc.
Summary - KISS
Keep It Simple Stupid
Just make sure you get to the gym at all.
Once there, forget about fancy equipment, esoteric exercises and so on. If you just manage to consistently do some squatting, deadlifting, pressing and pulling for a few hours each week, you'll soon be fitter than most.
Add in some limited high speed running, mobility exercises, biceps curls and ab crunches, and you'll be a picture of health and fitness.
Eat real food, not processed garbage or fast food. Fast food burgers aren't really burgers. Make your own instead.
Don't forget to subscribe to my free and spam free newsletter, read my e-book and share this article with a friend who needs to shape up.
Om du kan svenska kan du kolla in avsnitt 37 och 38 av "25 minuter" som handlar om träning och rörlighet.
Summary: a few easy and quick fixes for your back, to prevent injuries, appearing old, as well as make you healthier and more attractive at the same time.
-Arching your back, and rotating your hips.
Length: 1187 words; pretty short (just as your psoases)
Sitters are people too
-LOL, as if
Let me guess; you're a "sitter".
-meaning you sit down in a chair or couch/sofa for several hours a day, sometimes even stretching single sitting-sessions to over an hour (sic).
If you are one of those lowly, ignorant and generally useless excuses for a human being, here's a quick fix for you:
(I'm sure you're looking for quick fixes; I mean, being a sitter and all, it's pretty obvious you like short-cuts)
- Cobra-ups
- Hip-3D
"Fix for what?", you ask.
"Whaddyamean 'fix for sitting'? Sitting is normal, and not just for 'hours' but for double-digit hours per day"
- The fixes prevent injuries like disc bulges, hernias and stiff necks - even restless legs
- You'll become a better bench presser through more practice arching
- Your posture will naturally straighten from your current slouch
- With better posture comes improved hormone levels and immune system
Let's describe these slippery suckers now. First up: the cobras.
Cobra-ups
During a particularly slouchy period of my life, I developed a disc bulge in my vertebrae. To get rid of it I was prescribed sets of 15 cobra-ups every waking hour, later every second hour, and yet later twice a day.
It took me about 8-9 months to get rid of the pains, sudden powerlosses and tingling in my back, glutes and hamstrings, not to mention restless legs syndrome (link to my article on how to get rid of RLS=WED).
I wish I had sat straighter, sat less or at least done a short set of cobras a couple of times a day, to prevent that disc from bulging in the first place.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, get to the point already. How do you do the snake-y thingies?
A cobra-up is basically a push-up from the floor without raising the hip from the ground. You simply push off from the ground and arch your back as evenly distributed over the vertebrae's all discs as possible. Then lower yourself back to lying flat on your stomach. Spend a few seconds on your way up as well as down, but there is no need to stay in either position.
Like this:
- Cobra-up
Hip-3D
If you've ever had a hernia or a stiff neck, I'm sure you're already familiar with this technique. It's recommended for loosening cramping muscles after throwing your back out.
However, it's even better as a preventive tool, in effect "teaching" the body beforehand what range of motion is okay without risk of injury (and consequent painful cramping that can last for weeks). I perform the movements pretty quickly standing up before squatting or deadlifting at the gym.
All you have to do is wiggle your hip in three dimensions:
- move your hips closer to your ribs on first the left side, then the right, then the left, then the right... Try to increase the range of motion for every repetition. Do 10 on each side. This one can be tricky for men that never dance.
- alternate arching and rounding the back, strive for a stretching feeling in the lower back when rounding. Go slowly and deliberately, spend several seconds on the rounding, e.g. Do ten reps of arch+round
- turn your hip to the left and to the right without moving your upper body. This can be done pretty quickly. 10 reps to each side.
Sounds weird and difficult? You couldn't be more wrong (Chandler Bing), but here's a video to explain it all (in Swedish, but that doesn't matter): 
More stuff
Neck-3D: Just as with the hips and lower back, you can prevent (or remedy) a stiff neck by doing the 3D exercise for the neck as well. Wiggle the head side to side, rotate it left to right, and up and down. There!
You can do them to loosen up a stiff neck, or as a prevention technique when sitting still too much in an air conditioned office (or before exercising - in particular after a day of sitting).
Foam roller: As a complement to the cobras you can lie down on your back on a foam roller. Just make sure to focus on arching and bending the thoracic spine, and not overarching the lumbar region.
Old stuff - squatting and couching
Cobras and Hipsters are the new lessons for sitters in this article. They are easy enough, can be performed anywhere and in just about any outfit.
Finding a foam roller takes a little more dedication - a level I don't expect of a sitter. The neck thing, however, I'm sure even you can fit into your hectic day of 5 coffee breaks, 5 toilet breaks and reading the sport news online.
If you, against all odds, are interested in (almost) fully compensating for your sins (sitting), you want to add the two big ones to your daily routine. Actually "weekly" is enough if done properly, but daily is better.
- squat
- couch-stretch
Squatting is exactly what it sounds like. Sit down as low as you can go with your back straight (no rounding of the lumbar) and your feet flat on the floor. Vary your stance from broad to narrow. Try to stay in the bottom position for two minutes.
The couch-stretch is tougher. The good thing is that you can do it in front of the TV, in the couch. Spend, e.g., the 2-minute Game Of Thrones intro in the following position
- The original couch version
If you're not a TV or couch person, you can always stretch your psoases as a pro:
- The real deal psoas stretch
Full retard way:
- Severely hungover psoas stretch on stone surface
Never mind Mr S to the left, who's apparently shitting himself
Summary: cobras and hipsters
If you sit down several hours a day, you should try to compensate at least a little bit. One way is to add cobra-ups and some hip wiggle-jiggle in three dimensions to your daily habits. It will make you look better, be healthier and prevent injury. You'll also familiarize yourself with a great remedy should you or someone close to you get injured anyway.
If you're looking for something slightly more advanced; add neck-wiggling, foam rolling, squatting and couch stretching as well. However, if you're that ambitious, my guess is you don't sit that much to begin with.
Share this post with somebody you care about. Sign up for my newsletter if you want more health, wealth, happiness and productivity tips. And don't miss my free e-book about my time as a celebrated portfolio manager (including plenty of investment tips).
If you want more advanced mobility tips for more than just sitting and back issues, check out this post on an earlier blog I had.
P.S. Remember that short psoases are the reason old people walk, shuffle and stumble like old people
What's your relation to relaxing?
Dumping yourself in the sofa after a tough day?
Making a joke about needing some rest after your vacation?
Thinking that sleeping in on weekends equals rest?
-Think again.
The paradox of rest
Ever noticed that a "relaxing" day of watching TV makes you tired and apathetic, actually even less interested in doing things than before your rest?
Ever noticed the strange satisfaction and energy you can feel after solving simple tasks at home (changing that light spot, taking out the trash, gluing or screwing that thingamajig that's been bothering you)?
It has do to with what true relaxation is, vs. the false kind that has been imprinted on us.
Disclaimer: this article is unusually unscientific - even for being me. It's all about personal observations and preferences, that may not have any bearing on you.
If you want something done, give the task to a busy man
Ask somebody with all the time in the world, and it will take exactly that long
Sitting begets sitting, and action begets action. You get more energy from doing (to a point) than from not doing
It's supposed to be a turn on too
Resting doesn't work if you think of it as only "turning off" work; you need to "turn on" non-work sides as well.
It's about re-charging by doing semi-instantaneously rewarding things. Hobbies, e.g., are often both time-consuming, costly and require concentration and effort, and, yet, they are still relaxing and rewarding and you can't wait to get off work to do some more.
Search for those kind of activities, perhaps through my lists of how to rest, how to be happy, through lateral living or little household chores to get you going, instead of defaulting to after work beer, or some sitting device and the TV or social media.
Retirement and relaxation
Some retired people just wither and die.
(that word "wither" always makes me think of the amazing libertarian sci-fi apce opera "Wĭthûr Wē" that I recommend highly. Please note though that it has nothing to do with relaxing).
-Not I
(on the other hand, I'm retarded, not retired)
It seems, either you stay active or you lose your mental and physical faculties one after the other and die way too early.
I actually thought I'd 'just' be consuming books, blogs and podcasts all day after retirement. Finally, I would get to relax completely. "Of course" that wasn't enough, even if I came pretty close (I sleep 8 hours a night, I work out every second day, I do things on my terms, but I do them all the time).
Even if I have no intent of, or desire for, "working", I keep updating my blog, writing on my second book, and I've started a podcast in Swedish. In addition, I've got a few unlisted investments going, and I'm starting up a business angel venture. It turned out action (output) was more relaxing than exclusively inaction (input). The latter can make you anxious and edgy, like a caged animal - or apathetic.
I think relaxing shares some of the same characteristics as short term vs. long term joy and happiness that I wrote about the other day. It's all too easy to just lean back in your sitting device of choice, doing nothing. It feels so good to relax all muscles, exhale and get a few seconds for yourself.
Actually, there's nothing wrong with that.
Take a few minutes if you want.
Use the meditation tips from an earlier article of mine. Sit comfortably (albeit ergonomically), take deep breaths. Think only of the breathing, or turn on your awareness and pay attention to everyday details that usually are just background noise to you: sounds, textures, wall cracks, colors, smells. One at a time, pick them apart.
The problem is when you turn on the TV, and that positive and active relaxation/meditation goes from 1 minute of personal time - brain time - to several hours of sitting still, watching mindless "lean back" garbage (news, political debates, game shows, celebrities, reality shows etc.), as opposed to engaging "lean in" media.
Porn and camp fires
Just as with betting, gaming, drugs and porn (I've heard), the initial kicks hi-jack your brain's reward system and make you want more of the same (without actually ever achieving quite the same level of bliss again).
The way to re-charge your body and brain is not to turn off moving or thinking; it's to re-direct action to the opposite of your work-life.
If you sit down more than 4 hours a day at work, what you need is not more sitting, you need walking, playing, stretching, using the natural range of your muscles, tendons, ligaments and joints, not to mention natural range of thinking (outside Microsoft Office). Otherwise, that range will shrink prematurely (and anything coming prematurely is a no-no in my book), making you "old".
Then it might be time for an hour of calm contemplation in front of a "camp fire" (an actual fire is probably best, but perhaps you prefer chatting on-line, watching your favorite program or something similar), but only after proper relaxation, i.e. pleasurable action.
Relaxing as a sprezzaturian
Just as with my article on everyday happiness, I'll exemplify with a personal list of how to re-charge, or "relax" if you will. Most of these suggestions are "larger" scale activities that take an hour or two - but further down you'll find some 5-minute suggestions as well
- walking
- a walk with a friend or your favorite podcast/music, instead of the default beer, TV couch snacking usually fills me with ideas and energy to implement them
- reading fiction
- it stimulates my imagination, makes me want to research, write and explain similar things for others (just remember that sitting or lying still, reading for hours on end is not good for you)
- meditation
- I've never meditated for more than a few minutes at a time (nevertheless, just one minute of silence and focused breathing makes wonders - or why not try a thorough, fully-aware 1-minute tongue twisting with your partner while synch-breathing at the same time?)
- lifting weights
- now, this might be master class level for most, especially if we are talking about weekdays, including Friday. However, if you dare try, it might change your life.
- complex sports (tennis, wake board)
- this typically takes planning, scheduling, commitment etc. Once that's in place it's often very rewarding and relaxing, but the recurring time slot (tennis) or amount of planning required (wake board) just might make the activity stressing and taxing instead.
- goofing around (swim, jump, laser dome, paint ball, climb trees, play with my dog)
- anything that makes you laugh during or after is highly relaxing
- watching a movie/TV
- don't do this at home! Just kidding..., or am I? Sometimes a movie, sitting down, emulating the campfires of yore is exactly what you need. just make sure you pick the right moments. Sitting and consuming entertainment should be your last resort, not because you should be effective, but because most often you won't be re-charged afterward. You might not even enjoy it due to a feeling of skipping other obligations (Wait But Why's dark playground)
- writing
- highly individual, of course... writing is working for me, but shorter pieces, e.g. for my podcast is about as cathartic for me as taking out the trash and sets me on a trajectory for either just enjoying my time (WBW's happy playground) or doing more stuff
- sauna
- Sure, it involves some sitting down, but combining the heat with getting up regularly for cold showers, snow play or swimming, your capillaries will be shiny as new afterward, and your testosterone and HGH levels as high as a teenager's.
- reading non-fiction
- the right level of non-fiction can be very inspirational - just make sure you don't choose too heavy litterature
- watching a science show or listening to a science podcast
- I'm always bursting with creativity, joy and I'm generally energetic after listening to new scientific findings. However, if it involves sitting down you should think twice about it.
- massage
- 5 minutes, 25 minutes, an hour... It's good for you, you can think through your day, meditate or just be aware of your body. You're not sleeping, but you don't have to torture yourself with pure thinking either thanks to the intense bodily experience.
- alcohol
- With some hesitation and trepidation I add alcohol here at the bottom of the list. Sometimes it's just a waste of time (and health), but sometimes (if you've got the time and health buffer) it can be magical.
- A forced or complacent after work beer is a time thief & detrimental to your health and can thus be doubly stressful. However, on rare occasions, skipping gym and going all in at brunch can shake things up and put everyday life in perspective.
- If I go sober for over a month, just focusing on gym and productive work, I tend to go a bit numb but after i no limits bender and hellish hangover, junk food and media consumption I'm right as rain again; full of energy, motivation, desire to exert and prove myself . It's almost as the inverse of Tim's playgrounds, where I occasionally need to be bad to enjoy being good.
- I call it creating a "life topology", deliberately creating some volatility, in order to appreciate just being
FYI, of the above, I prefer walking most of all (it's scientifically proven to be one of the best ways to stimulate and rest the mind at the same time; it's also very easy to do, has an extremely low threshold, and can be done in any amounts of time)
Please note that the same activity often can be relaxing in some contexts and exhausting in others. Pay attention to when camp fire time re-charges you and when it depletes you, to when household chores are energizing vs. exhausting and so on.
Personally, I'm sometimes flabbergasted by how a usually relaxing activity can make me tired and vice versa. I often need to just give various things a little try to see what works that specific time.
Just one, redux
Don't fall for the siren songs of instant gratification when it comes to relaxing, but don't put off rest for too long either. As Tor Nörretranders explains in his must read book "The User Illusion" the interesting action is in the gray area between black and white.
My rule of thumb is to perform limited activities, that afterward will make you happy you did them.
Do the vacuuming on Friday evening right after work, e.g.
-"WTF?!", you say
I know. It may sound retarded or near impossible. I mean, how on earth is that relaxing?! That's what you want to relax from.
Nevertheless, indulge me and try just one room and you'll see what I'm talking about. You'll feel energized, relaxed and happy all weekend, including the rest of your Friday evening.
Doing it on Sunday evening can quite the contrary ruin your weekend, as well as the start of the week, making you feel haggard and behind schedule from the get go.
It doesn't have to be vacuuming of course; any little household chore will do just fine, or some other limited project (limited=whatever I write here will come out wrong... 1 minute is often enough, but most things actually take 5 minutes. However, once you're off to a start, doing "one more" is likely to carry you for up to an hour - or several if you get hooked).
My "things" are dusting, washing, loading the dishwasher, shopping, writing, mending/fixing loose screws, appliances, watering plants, mobility exercises (2 minutes for your psoas in the couch might be just what get you going) etc.
Then again, gym, sauna, massage, walking etc are more intuitively relaxing and at least more naturally associated with resting.
The main point (again)...
...is that resting doesn't work if you think of it as "turning off".
Think of it as re-charging by doing semi-instantaneously rewarding things. Hobbies, e.g., are often both time-consuming, costly and require concentration and effort, and, yet, they are still relaxing and rewarding, and you can't wait to get off work to do some more.
Make your own list of active-relax activities, perhaps through my lists of how to rest, how to be happy, through lateral living or little household chores to get you going, instead of defaulting to after work beer or some sitting device and the TV or social media.
Rest is supposed to replete you
A final word: Remember, it's supposed to be relaxing, to re-charge you, replete your energy levels, not the other way round. Try different routes, various more or less creative activities (not the couch) and pay attention to your own reactions. Perhaps you'll reach the same conclusions as I have.
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